Today.

Our C-section is scheduled for 7 hours and 52 minutes from now. This means I am officially forbidden from drinking or eating anything. That's why I'm up at 6am writing in the blog instead of spending as much time as possible sleeping. I got up and had a bowl of cereal and some apple cider. Yeah, sure, I got up to eat... that, and I'm nervous as hell.

Runa Kitty is keeping me amused by chasing a moth around the dining room. She's not usually an active cat, but she is leaping and bounding like a kitten, making me smile, and feel a little bad for her. She's my favorite thing about coming home right now, and she has no idea how close she is to losing that status.

Everything sounds all poetic in my brain, but my fingers can't make it sound pretty as I type. I'm having a baby today. I'm all of those things I think I should be... nervous, scared, excited, emotional, anxious, happy, relieved... but there isn't a word for "whirlwind of emotions that change by the nanosecond."

I started my weekend off by getting a 5pm pedicure with my favorite co-worker Beth. So my toes are orange, my thought being that the next time I think about my toenails will likely be Halloween, and then I'll be all set. Beth bought me Cold Stone and we talked about just letting work go and leaving behind anything undone and any question marks about how things will look/feel/be when I return. Three months is a long time, and any work thoughts are now officially allowed to be far from my mind.

David and I woke up on Saturday and picked up the house, did some last minute cleaning and then got out of the house for the afternoon. It was freakin' HOT. Who would have thought that I'd still be wearing my preggo shorts and tank tops in October?! A good thing, I guess, because they are comfortable and I never did find a pair of preggo jeans that I liked. Anyway, we had breakfast at the Eagles, returned the big box of newborn diapers we'd purchased a while ago to the baby store and bought size 1's (up to 15 pounds...), and drove to the outlet mall about 25 minutes away to go to the Carter and Osh Kosh and Children's Place outlets. Carter's was a bust (the baby store prices are better, actually...) and the Children's Place was so crowded we put down the few things we'd picked up and left. Osh Kosh was good to us; you just can't beat classic Osh Kosh overalls for $7, that's ridiculously cheap.

Serendipity was bumping into our friends Jessica and Brian and their 6-month-old Sawyer in the Osh Kosh store! I didn't do a mass email when we found out about the C-section, so she was like, "I was just wondering if you were still pregnant!" Sawyer is a smiley, happy, red-headed, blue-eyed wonderbaby. Seriously, he is SO adorable, and makes me so excited to have a son. Jessica's advice? "Um, sleep ALL DAY tomorrow. Seriously. Even if you're not tired and want to get up, just sleep more."

Perhaps I should have taken her advice, but I had left quite a mess at my desk on Friday. I knew I'd feel better just coming in over the weekend and leaving things "done" without rushing. I ended up staying for far too long, and crying at the sheer reality of not working for three months as I was leaving, and repositioning my stapler and tape dispenser three times before I walked out, driving David insane. I had to leave one thing "undone" for my colleague, which makes me feel bad, but I just need to LET IT GO. I'm pretty sure it's not going to matter in a few hours.

Wow, this is getting long. Anyway, we're checking into Sparrow at noon. Our delivery is scheduled for 2pm, but we're fully aware that if someone needs an emergency procedure, we'll get bumped back. Hopefully that won't happen, I'm ready to meet my son. Dr. Tucker was very reassuring. Baby Cute will stay with us the entire time and David will get to hold him while I get sewn up and then I'll get to try my hand (or boob?...) at breastfeeding in the recovery room. We'll stay 2 or 3 days depending on how we're healing and other than having an incision instead of a sore girly region, I'm going to be fine. As "cheated" as I feel about not going into labor, the thought is growing on me. No one who has given birth has commiserated with me--they tell me NOT to feel bad. And there's a part of me that's glad we're just doing it rather than waiting for it to happen, laboring for 20 hours and then doing this anyway.

Here's the advice I've received that I'm keeping in mind:
--I'm probably going to throw up.
--It's going to hurt, just take the pain medication.
--Get up and walk as soon as possible. It's going to hurt, but do it anyway.
--Accept help. And pain medicine.
--Don't push it.
--Stay in the hospital and let the nurses take care of you for as long as possible.
--All of this is totally worth it, I get to be a Mommy today.

I'm designating Uncle Nate to be the official picture and news poster and he is planning to visit tonight, so there should be news today, just not uploaded by yours truly.

Thanks, everyone, for all of your thoughts and well wishes. We're going to play this by ear, but I know we'll be ready for visitors eventually, and we can't wait to introduce you to our son.