A toddler named Elliott.

Yes, we're still alive. Yes, we're doing well. Yes, it's amazing that Elliott is almost 2.

A picture says a thousand words, so I'm hoping this video will help make up for the thousands of pictures we've missed posting these last few months. I promise Elliott was wearing pants earlier in the day, but close to bedtime when E gets his pants dirty, pantless is how we roll.

Translation: Sweetheart is what E calls my maternal grandma. Pap is my dad. Gram is my mom. Grandma is Dave's mom. Grandpa is Dave's stepdad. Oscar is their dog. Ming is their cat. Good luck translating the rest. We're still working on some of it.

17 months.

Dear Elliott,

I did it. Or rather, we did it. We are no longer a breastfeeding team. You are weaned. Lots of people thought we were crazy or odd to continue our morning and evening ritual of mommy milk and cuddling this long, but I cherished every moment (other than those few times you bit me, those moments sucked).

I nourished your little body from the time you were an hour old until Saturday, March 21. Seventeen months and two weeks. Feeding you is the most important thing I've done in my entire life. I'm incredibly proud of us.

Perhaps it was a cowardly way to end our nursing journey, but I left. First, I went and stayed with my best friend, Mary, and her new baby Owen. You see, Mary is feeling like I did when you were just a few weeks old. Unsure about her changing role as a mommy/wife/teacher/friend/sister/daughter/professional. Tremendously in love with a creature that does nothing but take, take, take from her physically. And completely, utterly exhausted. She needed me, and I needed her, so I left you with your very capable Daddy and went to Indianapolis for a few days. Owen will smile socially soon, and my bet is it will be at his mama. She's pretty amazing.

I cuddled Owen and changed his cloth diapers and laughed when he got squirted in the face with milk like you did. You see, Mary is at the beginning of her feeding journey, and we are at the end.

Daddy says you will be Owen's older, bad influence friend. But I like to think you will teach him like his Mama taught me. About friendship, fun and mischief without breaking the rules.

I raced home on Wednesday to find you climbing the furniture at Brenda's house. I kissed and hugged you until you squirmed and took you home. We immediately went outside and picked up rocks and sticks and chased kitties. Whenever we went inside you stood by the gate at the bottom of the stairs and made your "milk" sign and told me "night night" despite the fact it was 5:30 and you hadn't had dinner. You found your Boppy pillow downstairs behind the chair and brought it to me. In short, you made it clear what you wanted and I did not give it to you. This was incredibly hard, (as were my boobs), but I was able to distract you and you did just fine when your Daddy put you to sleep.

And then I left again the next morning. I went to Chicago to see my sister, Meredith, your "Auntie M," with Gram. We took the train and met my favorite blogger, Dooce, shopped, saw the Millennium Park "bean," ate amazing food, introduced Gram to Ikea, went to the spa and talked, talked, talked. I got home on Saturday night to find you cuddling Pap, who took amazing care of you while I was gone and Daddy was enjoying his annual pilgrimage to the MHSAA boys basketball state finals. You smiled at me, ran around the house for a few minutes and then went to sleep without a peep and without asking for Mommy Milk.

I feel like singing "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone." Not because my boobs are no longer shared property, but because being away from you, Daddy and work for a week made me see clearly the path before me. It's amazing what eight hours alone in the car can bring to the surface. And your Gram? Three full days with her is like tonic for my soul. My head is clear and sharp and I'm ready to tackle my astounding workload tomorrow with a new vim and vigor.

I hope someday you feel about me the way I do about my mommy, your Gram.

Tomorrow you will go back to Brenda's house , no worse for the wear. You will climb her furniture, read books, stack blocks, take a walk, drink cow's milk, eat canned carrots like it's going out of style and continue to amaze us with your exploding vocabulary. We've stopped counting your new words, and I take advantage of your willingness to say "mommy" and "love you" perhaps a little too often.

You are doing more complex tasks and problem solving (or shall I say, problem creating?) like a little person. You really love opening containers and putting items inside. Rocks, blocks, books, puzzle pieces, anything you can find you carry around like precious cargo and find a container to squish it all into. And you narrate. You string together sounds into a cacophony that makes your Daddy and I stare at each other and smile. I've said before that when all of your sounds become words, I will be karma's bitch. You see, Mommy was rarely quiet when she was a small child, and it looks like I will be learning the art of tuning out someone you love. Never say never.

Other than the great outdoors and anything you can climb, I think books continue to be your favorite toy. When it's quiet in the living room I'll often peek around the corner from the kitchen to find you flipping the pages of your favorite board books. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes upside down and backwards, but you love books.

And climbing.

Just when I didn't think I could love you more, you love books! Let me tell you, it touches a place deep inside me, Elliott. I love books, too. I can't wait to share hundreds of thousands of pages of wonder, knowledge and imagination with you through books.

I'm so proud of the toddler you've become. You're strong-willed, vocal, tough, friendly, engaged, busy and loving. You would never come inside if we didn't lure you with "hot" (that's food to other people). You throw lots of things, but definitely throw anything round after calling it "ball" repeatedly. You love people; being in stores and restaurants gives you a chance to show off your skill of saying "HI!" to someone and then coyly grinning and looking away. You size up any new place and immediately find something to climb in, on or up. You give kisses and hugs freely and have learned to pet kitties and Gram and Pap's dog, Bella, very nicely.

You are my favorite person in the world, and I love watching you grow.

Love,

Mommy

16 Months.

Elliott is 16 months old today.

We have so much to celebrate and be happy about as a family. We're so, so lucky.

I gave myself permission not to do Christmas cards this year and decided to try and start a new tradition of Valentine's Day cards instead. I still love receiving traditional mail, and sending it too, so I don't want to give up on the traditional altogether, but Christmas is just too busy of a time to justify turning something so pleasurable for me into a chore.

It's early February and I've had time to decompress from the holidays, set my goals for the year and I feel so much more prepared to send a brief message and photo to our loved ones.

As an added bonus, I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!! So what better time to get our first official family photo taken? :)

Here's a sneak peek at what may be coming in your mail very soon.

And here's a link to more pictures on Facebook.

Things continue to be great with Elliott, although his new penchant appears to be climbing. Everything. Nothing is out of Elliott's reach now that he can climb onto our spare bed, onto the couch and from the couch to the side tables. When he can't reach something, he is figuring out how to move his seemingly harmless child-size rocking chair to give himself a boost.

Things are never boring around here, that is for sure.

Elliott's language and learning continues to explode. His jabber is started to turn into comprehensible words and he is happy to mimic anything we ask him to try saying. He just recently tried GRAM and PAP to the delight of my parents, and will meow and say "kitty" to just about anything that can be construed as a feline. His favorite word appears to be "hot" with a special emphasis on the "T." Lately, we've picked up ball, drink, cookie, please, mommy, daddy and play.

I continue to worry that we're not enriching Elliott's life with learning, but that's why Dave is a great partner for me and a great dad to Elliott, assuring me that we're doing just fine.

Our family dynamics have shifted a bit again as David went back to work at Pearson last week. He's serving as a scoring director on a science project until early May, so we're in the process of creating a new "normal" for us. So far, so good. Elliott is back at Brenda's home-based daycare and he is one of three in her care. The other two are Logan and Eric who are a little younger and a little older than Elliott. So far, they are having a great time playing together.

Elliott has been breaking Dave's heart daily by crying when he drops him off, but also making his heart melt by running to him after work every day. Things aren't that much different for my daily routine other than not being able to get a constant update and being shocked at coming home to the house basically the same as when I left in the morning.

Our lives have also been enriched lately with the addition of new friends. My college classmate Becky was born and raised here in Lansing and has two adorable twin girls, Mia and Kayla. What started as a weekly playdate for Elliott with Becky's girls has turned into invitations to lots of gatherings. Becky has a wonderful group of friends who have really welcomed us and that we really get along well with. Lots of the other couples also have children around Elliott's age, as well, so he's getting used to sleeping in a room with two other pack 'n play's while we socialize at Becky and Mike's house late in the evening.

I guess we didn't know how much we missed socializing with other folks until we kept gushing to each other about how much fun we've had at recent gatherings. We've shared some sighs wishing our college friends lived closer, but it's also been great to have a new circle of friends going through similar times in life.

Elliott is up from a monster nap and ready to "see stuff get stuff" as we say around here.

Happy February. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Life.

Unimagined Territory

Elliott is now 15 months old and I have to admit that I am entering unimagined territory. What does that mean? Well, let me tell you about myself. I'm a planner, and an observer. I'm the third of four children and carefully watched my older siblings live their lives and then made decisions about how to make my own path. I'm not a copycat, I just like to have LOTS of information about how others handle things, and then I make my own mixture, my own hybrid blend of life based on what I think is the best of what others have done.

This is how I write. This is how I work. And this, apparently, is how I parent. Except, I'm not a seasoned "toddler observer." I LOVE babies. Love their sweet, soft smell and their cooing and wide-eyed wonder at the world around them. At family gatherings, it was a sure bet that I was near to whatever baby was in the room. Now, kids and toddlers, not so much. They moved too fast, talked too loud, played too rough and didn't do nearly as good of a job at being bossed around as babies do.

So I find myself, as the parent of Elliott Milton Scott, 15 months old, at an impasse. And let me tell you, it is a really delightful place to be. As he is learning and growing into his own little person, I am learning and growing and deciding how to be the best mother of a toddler that I can be. A few huge revelations to date...

Elliott plays independently.
We're finally at a point where Elliott will sit down with his toys and look through a book, poke the buttons on his microphone or just get everything out of his toy bins and spread them around. He puts balls inside cups and uses a random spatula on the floor to stir an imaginary stew. I love watching Elliott play in his own little world. It's totally inspiring, and not something I looked forward to, because I just never went to "toddlerhood" in my mind.

Elliott is learning to communicate.
Perhaps one of the hardest things about caring for an infant is the whole "crying when you have no idea why" thing that happens to pretty much everyone. Diaper dry. Tummy full. Not too warm. Not too cold. Being held. Put down. Toy dangled. And the screaming continues. These days, Elliott is using some basic sign language like "eat, more, milk, drink and all done" and does a pretty gosh darn good job of pointing and leading you to what he wants. He tells us when he is hungry and when he's all done. He leads us to the gate upstairs when he is ready to go to bed at night (I know, what a luxury!).

The hardest part about this is learning how to tell him "no" while still encouraging him to communicate. For example, he REALLY wants to go outside. He has learned to say "door" and stands at the door and says "door" and we know he wants to go outside and play. But the realities of living in Michigan in January means it's dark by 5:30 or 6 and it's 10 degrees outside and the realities of being a working parent means I need to get things done inside on the weekend and putting Elliott into 10 layers of clothes is a pretty significant commitment.

I just did it today, housework and other tasks be damned. We suited up and went and played outside. It wasn't too cold and the snow is still fresh and gorgeous. He had a wonderful time, but threw a true temper tantrum when we came inside. I took a video of it (I know, I'm weird), but the chances of it uploading without freezing our home computer is slim to none.

Elliott loves me more than I thought was possible. And vice versa.
These days, Elliott shows a lot of affection. Hugs and kisses are a part of our daily routine and sometimes, he slows down just long enough to sit on my lap and cuddle or to read a book together. This touches something deep, deep inside of me. I knew that as a parent I would be needed. I never got to the place in my head where I would be someone's favorite person to read with. I guess I'm glad I didn't, because it feels so, so deliciously good to know how much Elliott loves me.

Naptime is goodtime.
Elliott will tell us around 7:30 or 8pm that he is ready to go to bed. It's pretty nifty. He is not nearly as good about napping. He fights the nap. But that's where being a good parent is so important. I have to search for his clues and make sure that he naps. If he doesn't he is a bear to live with and he just doesn't enjoy life as much. If I make sure he sleeps when he is tired, he enjoys playing and learning and growing so much more.

And frankly, weekend naptime is good for Mommy and Daddy too.

Ok, I could go on and on, but I think I've gotten most of it off of my mind. Elliott is amazing. I'm so proud to be his mommy. And just as I planned in my head for--baby in 2009/2010, girl, natural childbirth--and got--baby in 2007, boy, planned C-section--I'm learning that not being in control is a pretty cool thing. We're enjoying the adventure.

What will 2009 Bring?

Just so you know we're still around, here is a link to Christmas photos on Facebook. I'm there much more often than I'm here (obviously).

Elliott is more and more amazing every single day. He is trying out new words and sounds, climbing EVERYTHING, gaining more personality by the minute and learning/playing/growing so fast it makes mine and Dave's head spin.

Happy Everything, everyone. It's been one hell of a year.

For my Pap

I've been giving myself a guilt trip about not updating the blog, but I'm just going to get over it and try to do smaller posts more often rather than waiting until I have too much to say. 

My Dad, Elliott's Pap, is in China and aching for punkin pictures, so here is our little pumpkin as a pumpkin.

Halloween is tomorrow! We've been so lucky to discover that one of my friends from college, Becky, has twin girls just a month or so older than Elliott. Becky is a great organizer, and thoughtful enough to invite us over often. She has friends over every Wednesday for "BabyFest." As you will see from the pictures, it is indeed a baby fest! 

It's a lot of fun to watch Elliott interacting with other kids and continuing to become a little person, not a baby. 

He is growing so, so fast.

That's all I have time for, so it will have to do.

The big ONE.

Did you guys know that my birthday party is tomorrow?

I'm going to be ONE on Wednesday.

My Mommy has been very busy at work, but I think I've been busier.

Walking. I do that a lot. It's my primary mode of transportation.

Getting teeth. I have three now.

Climbing on stuff.

Getting into things.... Literally and figuratively.

Trying to get the kitty. I even learned to say "meow," but that does not make Runa want to hang out with me. I don't get it.
Being adorable, whatever that means.

Playing with my Daddy. He's my best buddy.

Drinking cold, cold water. I like ice in my sippy cup, please.

Talking. I say "hi. mommy. daddy. meow. yeah. and ooooh (for uh-oh)" My excited sound is 'da da da da da da.'

Sometimes, I am not so adorable. I like to get my way.

Last weekend, Mommy and Daddy were moving furniture in the spare room. They kept vacuuming and cleaning things and they wouldn't let me have the big yellow spray bottle. I was mad. After they fed me lunch, they left me in my high chair with some crunchies while they moved the bed back into place. This is how I looked when they came back.

Hey! I was tired!

I also pushed down the gate last weekend and climbed up the stairs all by myself. Luckily, I found my Mommy at the top of the stairs. She was taking a nap, so I just crawled into bed with her. I could tell Mommy and Daddy wanted to get mad at me, but they were just glad I was safe.

There are almost 30 people coming over to play tomorrow. Can you believe it? All three of my great grandmas will be there. My Mommy cried yesterday because my Great Grandma Ebig should be there, too. But she'll just be there in spirit. Aunt Meredith and Uncle Jerry are coming all the way from Chicago. Aunt Melanie and Uncle Rob can't come from Connecticut, but the mailman delivered a big box from them yesterday. Mommy told me I have to wait to open the red dinosaur paper until tomorrow.

My Uncle Nate got engaged to my Aunt Larry. That's pretty exciting. Mommy thinks I will be ready to dance next September, so there had better be some kickin' music.

Anyway, Mommy finished her BIG annual report project and is done delivering them to the legislators. That's cool. It means she's going to take some time off from work to party down with all of us tomorrow.

I just hope they'll be some mozzarella cheese. That's my favorite food.